I don't think that I really understood what Ms. Alberta was telling me about the feelings that she had about anniversaries. I may be getting a little more understanding.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my father's death; he was buried on the 17th of January. January 17th is also the anniversary of the diagnosis and prognosis we received about the type of cancer Ms. Alberta had.
I can remember when we were first told that Ms. Alberta had cancer thinking to myself that people recovered from cancer every day. I had sat at my computer for hours after the diagnosis searching for everything that I could find about cancer. When Ms. Alberta found out what I was doing she made me promise that no matter, bad or good, that I would tell her what I had found.
On the 17th, after we returned home, I had once more searched for the type of cancer Ms. Alberta had - oat cell carcinoma. It was one of the fastest growing types; it would spread rapidly throughout the body; even going into the cells in the brain. And by the time it was diagnosed it was probably too late for any thing to be done. I did NOT want to tell Ms. Alberta what I had found. I didn't print my research but I did save it.
Ms. Alberta didn't spare me or herself; within hours she asked me what I had found and reminded me of my promise to her. I couldn't tell her; I went to my computer, printed the research and took it to her so she could read it for herself. Ms. Alberta made me read it to her.
Looking back I think Ms. Alberta did that so that I would face what was happening to her. I have never felt that I was as strong as Ms. Alberta; that day she made me become stronger.
I love you Ms. Alberta - mentor, friend, and mother.