I had four children, three girls and one boy. My youngest Sharon Gail died when she was barely three months old. I was so bitter about Sharon Gail that my heart was filled with hatred for the Lord. Harold decided we needed a change of where we lived so that I could start to heal from Sharon’s loss. We moved to Elizabethtown, Kentucky and my brother in law helped him get a job at Ft. Knox, working as a mechanic. Money was tight and we never seemed to have enough to go around for everything that we needed; but we were grateful Harold was working and we at least had a roof over our heads.
The house we were living in was located in Oaklawn, which was on the edge of Elizabethtown about where Goodwill is now. It was a two bedroom house with no bathroom. There were sixteen rentals there and we all shared one bathroom. We had a potty that we used at night then emptied it the next morning. I would go to the laundromat and bring the clothes home to dry them on a line that was strung in the kitchen; with three children it was hard to dry clothes that way. The rooms were so small that once we had let out the folding bed the door to the outside couldn’t be opened.
Every morning after Harold went to work; I would sit and listen to the news on the radio. It seemed like every day there was news of a baby having died from parents neglect. But the one that threw me into real despair was the news that a new born baby, wrapped in a towel, was found at Vine Grove. The baby had been alive when it was left outside and had frozen to death.
I kept asking, “God why did You take my baby and then give a baby to someone who didn’t want a baby and then let them kill that baby by letting it freeze to death.” That was when I stopped going to church. I wanted no part of the lies the preachers were telling; I believed they were only preaching for the money they were paid. This parting from the church went on for a long time, with me getting more bitter and hate filled all the time.
I had a nephew by marriage that I really liked; despite the fact he was a preacher. His name was Roy and he lived in Rockhold where my mother in law, Rachel was from. Our church asked Roy to come from Rockhold to preach a revival. Our church couldn’t promise an amount they could pay him, but there would be a collection plate passed around for a love offering for Roy’s pay.
Since I liked Roy, I went to church for the revival. The collection plate was passed around and the money was heaped up and almost overflowing. The whole time Roy was preaching the devil was whispering in my ear, “God took your baby; the only reason this preacher is preaching is for that full collection plate that was passed around. Just look at all that money; and you don’t even have enough to buy what you want to buy for the three children God has left you.” Then Roy told how glad he was to see all that money in the offering plate. To myself I was saying, “That’s right. I knew that, Roy. You are just a money grabbing preacher too.” I was so happy that Roy had proved me right.
Then Roy broke my heart by saying that he wasn’t going to take all that money because it was needed right here in our small community for God’s work. I was so upset by Roy’s words that I got up and tried to leave. But my mother-in-law, Rachel, got hold of my arm and held on to it. “Come back here Alberta;” she said “I know you are feeling a call to the altar.”
I didn’t want to go to the front of that church; but I did. I told that congregation about how I felt about God taking my baby and how I had felt the only reason that Roy was there was for the money in the offering plate. I tell you there was lots of shouting and praising God for my salvation and I felt that burden of grief, despair, and hatred lift from my heart. That is when my faith in God became as strong as it is. As long as I hold onto God, He lifts me up and takes care of me. God always has a reason for the things He puts us through; just like Harold always said, “What doesn’t break me makes me strong; and if it does break me, when it heals then, just like a broken bone is stronger when it heals; I will be stronger for having been broken.”
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